Confessions of a Teenage Bad Boy
by tazymay
Summary: Dearka Elsman tells Mwu La fllaga about his troubled past. There is a little deamir at the end. Rated for language. DxM hints of MxM


**A/N: This story starts out with Mwu and Dearka have a very casual conversation with one another. But Mwu soon learns that night that not everything is well in the Elsman household. There is a little bit of DxM around the end of the story. Here is a link to the picture that is referred to in this story: img170.imageshack.us/img170/299/seed154qu1.jpg , I don't know how good this is because this is my first story.**

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Dearka lied down in his bed. He had just finished an exhausting battle against the earth alliance. In this battle his roommate Mwu had been injured. They were both relaxing in their room just trying to forget about the war.

Mwu turned to look at him, "You ok kid?"

"Yeah, I'm just tired." Dearka had just faced his best friend Yazk, who had labelled him traitor. To make things worst when he went to the bridge for the debriefing, the girl he had began to fall for didn't even look twice at him, unlike what he had hope. He envisioned her jumping from her set and hugging him in desperation exclaiming how she was so glad he was alright and to never do that to her again! _"I guess I was expecting a little too much"_ he thought. He closed his eyes trying to forget the earlier battle.

"She's really on your mind, isn't she?" Mwu already knew the answer but he love bugging Dearka, it was like teasing a younger brother.

Mwu could see Dearka's left eye begin to twitch before he quickly rolled over to hide the slight pink come across his face. "Yeah, yeah" Dearka was getting annoyed by his roommate; if he wasn't already injured Dearka would have given him a good smack or two.

"Man, you've got it bad" he said as he stood up to stretch.

"Whatever" Dearka screamed, he was getting angrier by the second but he didn't know why. Maybe it was because he knew his daydreams of Miriallia running into his arms would never happen, hell she didn't even let him use her name.

"You want her attention that bad, kid? Heh, sounds like me as a kid."

Dearka turn around to find that Mwu was looking down at him. He quickly snapped, with a dark scowl on his face now. "My name's Dearka, for one. And secondly, shut the hell up!"

"Cool it, cool it- Dearka, eh? So, just tell me, why do you like her so much?" His smirk is suspicious, disturbing.

"Well, why do you like the Captain?" Dearka smirked too, sitting up.

"Hm, why do I?" Mwu looked like he was thinking harder then the pretty boy ever had to in his entire life. "Hm, she's tough, she's independent, oh, and she's hot." He laughed. "No really though, I barely have a clue. How 'bout you?"

"Um…" Dearka couldn't come up with an answer either "I have no idea," he reply rather cheerfully to his surprise. "But that doesn't make a difference to me."

"Ha ha is that so…. well we better get some sleep, we have a big battle ahead of us tomorrow"

"Yeah, night old man"

"Good night kid"

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_(A/N: the bolded writing is what Dearka is saying in his sleep and the italicized writing is Mwu's thoughts)_

"**No…I didn't"**

Mwu was suddenly woke up by the whimpers of his teenage roommate. _"What the hell's gotten into him?"_

"**I didn't…I didn't do it", **Mwu looked over toward Dearka only to see him drenched in a cold sweat fast asleep. _"He must be having a bad dream"_

"**Mom…why don't…why don't… you believe me?" **a tear rolled down Dearka's cheek. _"Maybe this isn't just some nightmare, what happen to you kid?"_

"**Sorry…I'm …so …sorry" **Dearka face started to relax as he rolled over onto his back. Mwu placed his hand onto his forehead. _"hmm… looks like he's got a fever, wonder how long he's had that. " _Mwu left the room to get a cold cloth. He pushed back Dearka's hair and placed it over his forehead. "You need to get better kid, we'll need you tomorrow"

"**I…didn't do… it please… believe me… please" **Mwu watch his roommate, Dearka was obviously struggling with something from his past**.**

"**NO YOU CAN'T!!" **Dearka shot up, the cloth fell down onto his lap, his facial expression showed a few different emotions all at once: sad, scared and shook.

Mwu placed his hand on Dearka's shoulder causing him to jump "You need to talk don't ch'a kid", Dearka looked at him half wanting to punch his lights out for touching him and half wanting to just burst out in tears from stress.

"No, no…I I'm ffine" he stuttered with a quiver in his voice.

"_Yeah whatever, you can't pull that tough guy shit on me" _Mwu thought "I'm here you know if you need to-"

"It's nothing" Dearka said forcefully with no expression in his voice. He flopped down on the bed and curled up into a ball covering his head with both his blanket and pillow.

"You know in my experience…" Mwu sat down on the bed and placed a hand on Dearka's shoulder in support, "People don't just break out in cold sweats in the middle of the night for nothing"

"It's nothing that would concern you"

Mwu looked around the room trying to figure out what to do now, Dearka was holding back his emotions and he was starting to pay the price. Coordinator or not he was causing himself to have a fever from all the stress. _"I much I hate this I need to get him to talk about his 'feelings'" _It was a man's worst nightmare having to talk about someone's feelings. It was bad enough when it was a girl but this was a young man who could kick anyone's ass who looked at him the wrong way.

Mwu suddenly had an evil smirk on his face "You know I could always get Miriallia to come and comfort you"

Dearka shot out from under the covers send both the blankets and Mwu to the floor. "DON'T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT BRING HER INTO THIS!" Mwu looked up at him only to see his tear stain cheeks and a pissed off look on his face._ "You've been though something kid, now you've got me curious"_

**

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**

Outside in the Hallway

"Hehehe, he's such a goof. I wonder what his deal anyways?" Miriallia chucked at the thought of Dearka and his actions towards her in the past few months of the war.

"Well whatever it is I'm just glad that he's here otherwise we might not have made it this far"

Miriallia was walking around the Archangel chatting with the captain. She was the only girl Mir could talk to. Cagalli was on the kusinogi and Lacus was on the Eternal making them the only girls on the ship. Miriallia wanted to talk to her to get advice. She was having boy trouble. She had finally figured out that she had fallen head over heels for the buster pilot. The feeling she had for Tolle couldn't compare to what she was feeling now. Tolle was just a school girl crush, while Dearka was something else entirely. She couldn't even look at him, when ever he would come onto the bridge she would look up to see who was coming but whenever she saw his tanned skin and unruly blond hair she would quickly turn her head and never look twice at him in fear of turning bright red.

She started off the conversation by talking about how worried she was about the current situation with the war and all but had now began to direct toward he true intension, getting advice about Dearka from and experienced woman. "So…what do you think of him…I mean his not really like any…um… other guy on this ship is he" Miriallia voice was shaky she was nervous, it felt like a million butterflies where flying around in her stomach.

"Well I think…" Murrue was stopped when she heard talking in Mwu and Dearka's room.

They could barely hear but curiosity got the best of them and they placed their ears against the door to hear what was going on, after all these were their men talking "You know I could always get Miriallia to come and comfort you" Mir's face lit up with a bright shade of red at the mention of _her_ comforting _him_.

All of a sudden there was a crash and Dearka started to yell in a loud dominating voice "DON'T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT BRING HER INTO THIS!" Both girls looked at each other; they knew they had stumbled upon something interesting. They both pressed their ears against the door harder to listen in so they could figure out what was going on.

**

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**

Inside the Room

"THEN SPILL IT" Mwu yelled back he didn't appreciate being tossed to the floor after trying to comfort his comrade. Mwu realizing yelling wouldn't help calm him down, started to speak slowly and clearly so the riled up Dearka could understand "You-need-to-clear-your-head…, you can't have what is bugging you on your mind when we go out into battle, I don't want to be the one to explain to everyone that you died out there in battle because I fail to help you to clear you head. You need to clam down"

"…" Dearka slouched down in bed and just stared at the empty space in front of him. He said nothing. The girls outside were getting impatient waiting for Dearka's response.

Mwu finally broke the silence. "Why don't we begin by talking about that dream of yours, what ever was in you dream is obviously what's bugging you so lets start there" he got up from his not so comfy spot on the floor and took a seat next to Dearka who moved over so they were both sitting comfortably on the bed. But still Dearka said nothing, But Mwu could tell but the expression on Dearka's face that he was to figure out where to start.

**

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**

Outside the room

"What do you think is going on in there, oh I hope Dearka's ok" Miriallia whispered to Murrue in a sad-worried tone of voice. She was very worried about Dearka; however she didn't know that he had already been crying.

"I'm sure he's fine, I heard Athrun say Dearka's a bit of a drama queen" Murrue saw some of the worry wash from Mir's face. They finally heard someone started talking inside.

"You see it started when I was nine…" Both girl's nodded their heads and pressed their ears tightly against the door till it hurt they didn't dare miss a single word that was about to come out of Dearka's mouth.

**

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**

Inside the Room

Dearka was have trouble finding the words to explain himself, he had never talked to anyone about this before and here he was about to spill his guts to one of the people who had him locked up in a prison cells for god knows how long.

"What happen?" Mwu was careful with what he said. Being the modern day Casanova that he was he knew that when talking to girls about their feelings all you had to do was listen and let them get what ever was on their chest off. Dearka was no girl, in fact he was a Casanova of sorts himself, however right now he was a wreck that anyone would deem a girl when it came to the way he was expressing his emotions.

"My parents happened"

"Huh?"

"You see they got divorced when I was nine"

"That's it you parents getting divorced when you were nine, that's your big dramatic secret?" If looks could kill Mwu would be dead, Dearka didn't like that comment in the least.

"GET THE HELL OUT OF MY BED THEN YOU BASTARD!" Dearka quickly had snapped out of his poor me slum and was trying to push Mwu gentle but forcefully out of his bed so that he wouldn't open Mwu's wounds, or else he would have to deal with the captain. He didn't know who he was more afraid of when they were mad Murrue or Miriallia.

Mwu looked down at Dearka who strength was giving out on him. That's when Mwu realized that Dearka was crying. "It more then that isn't it" Mwu said in an apologetic and sympathetic way. "So just talk and I'll listen" Mwu placed his arm around Dearka's shoulder to comfort him. Dearka stopped pushing Mwu; they both remained silent for a while as Dearka collected himself.

"You promise no more inconsiderate comments you stupid bastard" Dearka's voice was quivering from crying but still had a hint of anger; he hated that fact that he was acting like this. He made a mental note that when Mwu was all heal up to beat the shit out of him for see him like this.

The girls were both surprised at Dearka's tone of voice they both knew then that Dearka was crying his eyes out. All Miriallia want to do was burst though the door and embrace Dearka to stop his tears just like he had done for her so many times but she resisted the urge so that she could find out what was bugging him.

"I promise, I am the man that can make the impossible possible you know, so you may think it's impossible for me not to make any more 'inconsiderate comments' but I can stop so go ahead Dearka" Mwu was serious, he hadn't been this serious since Kira and Tolle were announced MIA and he said that he would go back and find them. He was worried about this guy, an ex-ZAFT solider, someone he didn't have full trust in. It was because of his lack of trust in Dearka that he became roommates so that he could keep a constant eye on him.

He was now rubbing Dearka's back; he didn't care how homoerotic it seemed he just wanted to calm Dearka down.

"…" Dearka was quite for a while he didn't care how close he and Mwu were right now, he was sad and Mwu was worried. If anyone were to walk in on them now they would be running around the ship yelling that the two of them were gay. But right now neither of them cared Mwu was like a big brother right now comforting his little brother after a break up.

"_I wonder when the last time was that someone sat down and talked with the kid" _Mwu waited patiently for Dearka to work up the courage to talk about his dream and his feelings. However the girls weren't so patient they were fidgeting around however never took their ears off the door, they didn't want to miss a thing, especially Miriallia

"My mom had me when she was very young" Dearka started to finally talk about what had happen in his past but Mwu could have never guess want Dearka was about to confess. "By young I mean most women that are her age now are just having kids" Dearka had a sad tone of voice like he felt the source of everyone's problems in the world revolved around him.

"My grandparents, none of them liked the idea of have a bastard grandchild so they forced my parent into a marriage."

"…" Mwu said nothing, he was trying to hold back all unnecessary, stupid comments that he could make. He was truly trying to make the impossible possible.

"It worked out ok I guess….till I was about five. After that they began fighting about my future. Where I would be, what I would be." Dearka took his head off of Mwu, and Mwu removed his arm and watched Dearka closely. He knew Mwu was really listening to him and that he really cared. He decided that it was ok for him to open up completely. He leaned up against the wall and continued.

"I remember we lived in a big house back then, it must have had at least ten bedrooms." A smirk went across Dearka's face surprising the man in his bed. "I can also remember the countless time my father and I would play hide-and-go-seek, whenever he would find me he would grab me and throw me up in the air and then catch me…..he use to be…..my….my hero" tears flooded his eyes until there were to many to remain, they freely fell down his face. Dearka made no attempt to stop them.

Mwu looked at Dearka, he realised then that Dearka had been as close to his father as he was with his. Mwu could remember feeling like his father was his best friend, in fact he knew that his father was his hero too.

There was another silence between them as Dearka waited to see if an inconsiderate comment was on its way. When he realized that Mwu was going to respect him completely he deicide to continue. He wiped the tears of his face and opened his mouth to speak again.

**

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**

Outside the room

By this time both Miriallia and Murrue had tears rolling down there faces. They both knew Dearka was the bad boy punk of the ship. Sure he could be a goof but only when Mir was around and sad, any other time he was a bad ass that no one messed with unless they wanted to get messed up. But here he was breaking down; it was like something from a chick flick.

"Oh Dearka I hope you're alright" Miriallia whispered to herself, hope Murrue wouldn't hear. But she did, she would have said something too, if it weren't for Dearka beginning to speak again.

**

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**

Inside the room

He took a deep breath and continued "For four years they argued, but now matter what they argued about it all came back to one thing…me. I remember it all end when I was nine with the divorce" Dearka shot death glares at Mwu when he remembered his earlier comment.

"Something big happen huh" Mwu thought it was best to at least say something to stop Dearka's glares but he was careful with the words he chose.

Dearka glared at him for a while longer then continued, the more he talked the better he felt so he knew he had to continue "They decided it was time to end it when my dad…." He seemed to choke on his words, tear started to form again and his voice began to quiver. "when I over heard a fight. I just got home from school; you know I didn't really have any friends…. I was different….they didn't like different…."

"You were bullied as a child weren't you"

"Severely" Dearka pause to collect his thoughts he had never told anyone this stuff before, he had never confide in someone before so he didn't really know what he was doing. He didn't know if he was telling to little or too much.

"I'm sorry" There was a true sincerity in Mwu voice that put a small barley noticeable smile on Dearka's face.

"I had been bullied that day so I guess I just wanted to got home and play with my dad, I don't think he ever knew but when we played hide-and-go-seek, I was practicing to hide from bullies" His voice sounded so sad and sincere that it cause to girls to cry even more at the thought of a child's game becoming practice for self-protection.

"…"

"When I walked though the door that day, my parents were fighting. They always stopped when they saw me so I walked into the living room where they were my dad was yelling at my mom at this time"

_Flashback_

'_I guess Mommy and Daddy are fighting again' young Dearka thought 'well better go stop them'_

"_YOU KNOW WHAT OUR PROBLEM IS!"_

_Dearka walked into the room his father's back was facing him and his Mother looked Dearka straight in the eye when he walked in. She look back at he husband, Dearka remained silent._

"_Tad please stop." she begged_

"_IT ALL THAT DAMN"_

"_Tad no"_

"_CHILD'S FAULT"_

"_TAD!"_

"_FOR EVER BEING BORN, HE RUINED OUR LIVES!!"_

_Mrs Elsman burst into tears as she pointed behind him, Tad felt sick to his stomach when he saw the clock next to his wife. The clock read 3:15. Dearka was always home no later then 3:10. Tad turned around to see his nine year old son standing in the doorway to the living room; tears were free falling down from his face. Tad could tell by all the cuts, scrapes and dirty ruffed up clothes that Dearka had been beat up that day. He felt like a ton of bricks had just fallen on him._

_Tad Started to walk towards his son to embrace him and apologize, but thing had gone too far Dearka had snapped. Tad reached down to pick his son up but his hands were slapped away, he was shocked but at the same time knew it was coming. But he could have never guessed what was about to come out of his innocent child's mouth._

"_STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME YOU…YOU BASTARD!!" with that Dearka took off running and slammed the door to his room._

_End of flash back_

"A week later….my parents….got divorced… I haven't seen ….or spoke to my father since" Dearka said between sobs.

Mwu let out a big sigh and then pulled Dearka into his embrace. He began to rub his back again in an effort to calm his roommate down "shh… It will be ok Dearka shh…."

To Mwu surprise the story wasn't done. It was just the start, the real problem was post-divorce, "He left us with nothing… just the shirts on our backs and a small house, it only had one bedroom at the time, but it had a bathroom upstairs and down…so we turned the upstairs bathroom into my bedroom, guess it show's how shitty of a kid I was…" He waited for a comment from Mwu, if there ever was a time for him to jump it with an inconsiderate comment it was now. But Mwu said nothing he just padded Dearka on the back to show that he was listening.

"My mom was convinced he would come back to us, but I knew better….my dad didn't want me…I was different…just like the bullies thought…no matter how much my mom said I looked like my father I knew I didn't…I wasn't worthy of being that man's child." The more Dearka talked the less sad he sounded and the angrier he sounded. "Finally after three years of watching her stared at that damn picture of me and that stupid damn pathetic excuse for a father…" Dearka sat up off of Mwu enraged at the mire thought of his father "I took it from her hands and told her…

_Flashback_

"_GET A LIFE HE'S NOT GOING TO COME BACK FOR US! HE'S TO BUSY SLEEPING WITH ANY WOMAN HE GETS HIS GREEDY HANDS ON! HE'S LIVING THE LIFE OF A BACHELOR! HE'S FORGOTTEN ABOUT YOU! HE SURE AS HELL HAS FORGOTTEN ABOUT ME! HE HATES US" Dearka paused and looked down at the picture he had ripped from his mother's hands in his fit of rage and spoke in a low sad voice that was now quivering "…he hates me… I ruined his life"_

_To hear he son say such things broke her heart "Dearka…" she whispered_

"_SCREW HIM, HE DOESN'T DERVE US!" with that Dearka threw the picture across the room causing the glass on the picture frame to break. He ran upstairs and slammed the door causing Miss Kristen to cringe. Her son had changed and she knew things were only going to get worst. She walked over and pulled the picture out off the glass to look at the lost smiles of her son and ex-husband._

_End of Flashback_

Mwu was starting to realized why Dearka was the way he is, why he seemed to brush people off all the time. He sat there staring at the back of Dearka's head until he turned around to look Mwu dead in the eyes.

**

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**

Outside the room

Miriallia and Murrue couldn't stand any longer they were now sitting on the floor crying for Dearka even though they really didn't know why they were crying so hard. This hadn't happen to them so why should they cry? Maybe in was because Dearka was the punk of the ship and now he was this upset made them sad too or maybe it was because of all the stress they were under because of the war. Either way they were on the floor crying their eyes out for the ex-ZAFT solider.

"Don't you dare tell him that he doesn't understand you ever again" Murrue whispered as she wiped her tears away.

"I wouldn't dream of it" Miriallia sobbed wiping hers away too.

**

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**

Inside the room

"I've seen my father once since the divorce but I never imagined they would be under _those_ circumstances" From the way emphasised those Mwu knew that what Dearka had dreamt about that night was his reunion with his estranged father.

_Flashback_

"_no…I didn't"_

_Mwu was suddenly woke up by the whimpers of his teenage roommate. __"What the hell's gotten into him?"_

"_I didn't…I didn't do it",__Mwu looked over toward Dearka only to see him drenched in a cold sweat fast asleep. __"He must be having a bad dream"_

"_Mom…why don't…why don't… you believe me__**?" **__a tear rolled down Dearka's cheek. "__Maybe this isn't just some nightmare, what happen to you kid?"_

"_Sorry…I'm …so …sorry__**" **__Dearka face started to relax as he rolled over onto his back. Mwu placed his hand onto his forehead. __"hmm… looks like he's got a fever, wonder how long he's had that."__ Mwu left the room to get a cold cloth. He push back Dearka's hair and place it over his forehead. "You need to get better kid, we'll need you tomorrow"_

"_I…didn't do… it please… believe me… please"__Mwu watch his roommate, Dearka was obviously struggling with something from his past__**.**_

"_NO YOU CAN'T!!"__Dearka shot up, the cloth fell down onto his lap, his facial expression showed many different emotions at once sad, scared and shook._

_End of Flashback _

Mwu remembered back to when he woke up and heard Dearka's internal battle. He was trying to piece together what he heard and what Dearka had told him in order to figure out the true issue. But he drew a blank. So he decided to wait for Dearka to continue on his own.

"After trying to crush my mom's hopes of a reunion with _Daddy Dearest, _I…became rotten…" He seemed to be struggling to admit this not only to Mwu but himself too. But he knew that Mwu was right if he didn't clear his head if he was honest with himself about this then it would haunt him out in battle. "I worked out a lot…at the gym… became physically fit enough to take down anybody who dared to even look at me the wrong way…eliminating my bully problem….then there was also the… the smoking and alcohol abuse that started….." he was afraid to him, Mwu was like a big brother now to him. They had bonded tonight more the either of them had ever bonded with anyone else, and because of this it made it both easy and hard for Dearka to talk to him. Easy because as a big brother he would keep what ever he told him a secret and hard because he didn't want to disappoint him.

Mwu could see that hesitance in Dearka's facial expression, so he decided to comment, once again choosing his words carefully to make sure not to set his _little brother_ off. "It must have been hard to deal with knowing your father was living the high life while you had to watch your mother suffer" He started to panic a little inside when he saw the expression developing on Dearka's, luckily for him Dearka decided to take that as Mwu trying to help so he continued his story.

"I would leave the house every morning in time to go to school, but more often then not I would still arrive at school late, hung-over from the night before and reeking of cigarettes…the trouble at school I would get in sucked but I took it…the punishment was worth it if I got to continue my ways"

"…" Mwu said nothing he wanted Dearka to finish; he knew that in the end of the story Dearka sees his father but under what circumstances? Why did it cause Dearka so much pain to think about?

Seeing that Mwu was now hooked to the story Dearka decided to lighten the mood a bit by teasing him "Well I'm tired I think I'll go to bed"

"WHAT?" Mwu yelled out in shock, the girls were both taken back but it as well.

Dearka looked Mwu straight in the eyes and with the most serious look on his face that he could manage he replied "I-Am-Tired-I-Am-Going-To-Bed"

"Just like that but you-"

"Just kidding," Dearka let out a light chuckle for the first time that night, it was small but it let Mwu know that Dearka was only teasing. "Anyways my mother accepted all of this because…because she still thought dad was going to come back, he had become a supreme council member since the divorce so I knew better… maybe I was smarter then her or maybe I was still too angry to except the thought of him ever coming back. In any case she thought that it was a phase and it would end."

"…"

"It didn't….I start when I was 12 and I was almost 16 and was seriously thinking of adding something new to my list of addictions….but something stopped me…. I got home one night I had just bought a bag of…well I guess you know what…I headed up to my room to get trashed when… I heard her… my mom she…she was crying in her room saying that she want he baby boy back…she was on her knees with her head on her bed….praying for her innocent child to return. I went down stairs and flushed the bags continents down the toilet and promised myself that I would clean up…for her…she deserved it."

"….you love you mother a lot huh?"

"My mom was always there for me I just didn't realise it" Dearka smiled at the thought of his mother and then frowned again as he continued "I started to cut back on the smoking and alcohol, showed up for class on time more and more often, and started smelling less and less of smoke….but one night everything changed"

"…"

"I stayed late at school that night to catch up on some work, then I realise I had a damn project due the next day…the principal said if I was late with another project that I would be kicked out of school. So I stayed late and finish that stupid useless piece of crap project"

Mwu could see that Dearka was getting angry just at thought of that project but he did understand why. That's when he screwed up "what did this project ever do to you?"

Dearka's face lit up in anger "GET THE HELL OFF MY BED YOU BASTARD! I KNEW YOU COULDN'T SHUT YOU DAMN MOUTH LONG ENOUGH! PISS OFF AND LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Mwu threw his hands up in defence trying to calm the enraged Dearka down. He was sending Mwu enough death glares to last him a life time.

He took a deep breath "If it wasn't for that project I wouldn't have gone _there,_" his voice was now very calm. Mwu was sitting on his own bed while Dearka sat on his with his legs hanging over the side.

"..."Mwu was intrigued by the way Dearka say _there _but didn't dare say another word.

"It was midnight…I just finished a smoke and was finally heading home. I knew mom would be would be worried so I decided to take a short cut ..." Dearka looked like he was in deep thought "I guess taking that short cut could have been the problem."

"_Man, this is starting to get juicy"_

Dearka let out a big sigh and continued "It was then that the incident happened the one that reunited me with my father and got me thrown into the military"

_Flashback_

_Dearka Elsman was finally on his way home, everything was going great. He hadn't drank the night before so he didn't have a hangover, he went to bed at 9 o'clock so he was well rested and he even arrived at school early without even a hint of fresh cigarette smoke on him. He knew this would all make his mother proud of him._

_It was now very late, 12 o'clock on the dot. Dearka knew his mother would be worried about him so he decided to take a short cut through private property. But things were still going fairly well, he was making excellent time. He even stopped to pick some flowers for his mother and placed them inside his hard plastic pencil case after empting it out. He didn't want to carry them but he also didn't want to damage them._

_Dearka zipped his backpack shut and took two steps before a police car drove past him; it slowed to a stop a few feet in front of him. "Great" Dearka thought._

_A rather chunky police officer got out of the vehicle and began to nag him about it being private property and that he was going to have to take him down to the station and write a report. Dearka looked the man up and down and one single thought came to his mind, "I can out run this sack of shit."_

_Dearka took two steps back and said "thanks for the tip, I promise I won't trespass again. And Sorry bub but I can't go with you, my mother would flip if I was in a police car" With that Dearka gave the man a two finger salute and ran off._

_Miss Kristen wiped the flour of her shirt, she looked around the kitchen and saw the cold plate of food that was suppose to be her son's dinner. She had baked his favourite dessert to celebrate being sober for a week and cutting back on smoking. Tears started to fill her eyes when she looked over at the clock and saw the time. It was now 12:45 and still no Dearka. She reached for one of her women's magazines that was on the coffee table and opened it. Inside was the picture of her son and ex-husband. They looked so happy. She wished that they could all be like that again._

_Dearka arrived back at home. He stopped before going in to get the flowers out. He opened the door and quietly went in._

"_Dearka! Dearka sweetie you're home!" Miss Kristen jumped to her feet and run to greet her son, she had been worried sick about him. "Where the heck have you been!" she yelled as she turned to corner._

_She was greeted by a bouquet of simple yet beautiful flowers. "I'm sorry I was late I forgot about some stuff that is due tomorrow, or I guess today since it's already past mid-night" Dearka look at his mother straight in the eyes and she knew he was telling the truth. She went to hug him and that when he saw the picture._

"_Why do you still have that?"_

"_What sweetie?"_

"_That damn picture of him, that useless son of a bitch"_

"_Dea.."_

"_SHUT UP!!" Dearka grabbed the picture and ripped it in half, right through his father's head._

"_Dearka" was all his mother could say, and she could only whisper it from the shock. The flowers were now on the floor and Dearka was on his way up the stairs slamming the door making Miss Kristen cringe._

_End of Flashback_

**

* * *

**

Outside of the Room

"I'm starting to find it hard to feel sorry for him; he seems to snap so easily."

"I think what his dad said about him really effected him a lot" Miriallia pulled her head away from the door. She was going through a bunch of different emotions, she was sad for Dearka because she knew he had been crying in there. She was angry also, not _for _him but _at_ him, because of the way he was hurting his mother. And also she was worried that Dearka was in some kind of trouble.

"I guess your right; I can't imagine someone saying that about me and still be the same happy good lucky kid I was before, especially when it was his father who said it and he was being bullied on top of that"

Mir didn't know what to do or say. She just knew that she had to keep listening, no matter how much it hurt to here what Dearka had been through. She pressed her ear against the door again to hear more.

"The next day…"

**

* * *

**

Inside of the Room

"… I was arrested…"

"WHAT??...all you did was trespass and run from a cop, that's a fin tops"

"The police officer who tried to take me down to the station that night was shot about 10 minutes later… he gave my description as his attacker…. I don't think he ever did see who had shot him. He must have guessed that I was a punk that he pissed off and wasn't going to let him get away with it."

Tears were falling down he's face again as he remembered the look on his mothers face. "Shooting a cop that's what 2 or 3 years for a minor?"

"Twenty to life"

"But he"

"Died in hospital that afternoon, I was being trialed for murder….my mom was devastated. I had no alibi, I was walking home alone at 12:30 in the morning, no one walking around alone at that late of hour could be innocent. Plus when I put the flowers in my backpack my school ID must have fallen out because it was found near the scene."

"But you still plead innocent right?"

"DAMN RIGHT I DID!" Dearka wanted Mwu to know that he didn't do it, that he didn't kill anyone until he was involved in the war. "When I was on the stand I kept telling them I didn't do it and…. when I was at home I was begging my mom to believe me when I said that I didn't do it"

"She didn't believe did she?"

"Guess my bad ass attitude came back to bit me in the butt. I should have treated her better but I didn't…. the last day of my trail I was found guilty and sentenced to twenty years no probation. That when he showed"

"Your father?"

"Yeah" Dearka picked up the cloth that Mwu had placed on his head earlier that night and wiped his face, he held it on his eyes for a minute so the puffiness would go away. Then he took a deep breath and continued, he had no intension of letting another tear graze his cheek. "It was February 11th, three days before the Junius 7 AKA the Bloody Valentine incident. The war had officially begun the day before my trail ended. My father decided to use his council member power and my situation with the law to his advantage. He made a suggestion that I be forced into military service as punishment, since I was a minor. He said that I may not be much good as a solider, but that I would do. He said that my punishment would be to be put on the front lines of battle…a dangerous position."

"So the courts accepted?"

"You don't say no to a council member"

"He must have been surprised when you became an elite solider"

"Oh yeah" Dearka now had a smile on his face "he thought I would be a worthless expandable solider, but I became on of ZAFT's best in just four short months of training"

"So why is all this up setting you now? Do you think you're going to be arrested when the war is over?"

"I was acquitted for the crime."

"huh?"

"The real killer was found two months into the war. And I was given the option to leave the military"

"Then why did you stay"

"For the same reason I'm afraid of the war's end"

"…"

"My mom was right…he came back for us…they're married again…but I don't want to see him ever again…that's why even though I miss my mom I haven't returned home since my trail"

"… Dearka I think…"

"I don't think life will be worth living after the war…"

"Dearka don't say things like that"

Hearing Dearka say life would be worth living after the war gave Miriallia all the answers she need about her boy troubles. She just needed to wait for the war to end.

"Listen kid…just defend the Archangel…well figure the rest out later… mmmk"

"Yeah sounds good, although I really don't know what to do"

"When it's over you'll figure it all out I promise"

"I hope so…."

With that the two roommates went to sleep. Hearing no more conversation inside the room the two females outside the room decided to head off to bed as well. They now had a whole new view of the secretive ex-ZAFT solider.

* * *

The battle raged on the next day. Dearka and Mwu fought hard but in the end Mwu was killed and Dearka's Buster was badly damaged preventing him from fighting any further. Luckily for him he had made a life time friend in the ZAFT academy, whom decided to help Dearka out.

The battle was now over and a seize fire was ordered. The whole crew was waiting on the bridge for the status of three missing pilots, Athrun, Cagalli and Kira. It was then that it hit Dearka that his secret from the night before would never get out because his roommate was gone, when he had so much more to live for then Dearka did right now. He felt more depressed now the he did before.

Just then a message popped up on the CIC. It read that the three missing pilots were fine Mir read it happily. After hearing the message Dearka turned around to head out of the bridge.

"Wait!" Miriallia quickly stood up from her chair, as Dearka turned around he was tackled by a teary eyed Mir. "I'm so glad…so glad you're safe…DON'T YOU EVER SCARE ME LIKE THAT AGAIN!!"

Dearka leaned down to look at her, but he was stopped when she pressed her lips against his. He was shocked at first especially since the whole crew was watching his first kiss with the girl he had been wanting for so long. His face was bright red but he returned the kiss anyways. _"I guess life will be worth living, as long as I have her…..thanks Mwu…. I'll miss you more then you'll ever know bro"_

_The End_


End file.
